Sunday, June 30, 2013

Cravings and Hunger

What really makes us hungry? Why at times are we content with what we eat and other times consumed with the idea to consume more and more? Before my move I had worked out for 1.5 years and had been eating really well. However, since this move my system has gone into some kind of consume food craze. I didn’t really feel I ate all that much while I was on the road, but yes... Most of it was junk food. There just isn’t a good way to eat healthy on the road. I think I did eat an apple one day, ha!

But the last few weeks have been really tough for me. I have been doing ok during the day but at night while sitting and watching Netflix, I've just been hungry and will go get something. I have also been going to get fast food about once a week. Now, I was at a place before the move that I didn’t even crave fast food. I guess that is once happen when you eat it again, you begin to crave it, and crave it in excess.

As far as being hungry at night, I know a lot of it has to do with boredom. When I am keeping myself busy, though working out or writing, I am usually not hungry... but I get still and then the craving comes (and it so difficult to sit with your stomach growling).

Hopefully, within one to three weeks my stomach will go back to being small again. Even though my working out is going well, anyone who knows about good health can tell you that if you eat poorly, you will never lose weight. You can exercise all day and night, but it all you eat is pizza, cheese, and pasta... well, you are not going to lose weight.

And I want to leave with a thought for us to ponder, for me and for you reading this. Why do we crave certain things? What makes us hungry for them? And finally, why do we so often not crave God the same way we crave food or relationships or video games or being entertained or a myriad of other things?

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
- Psalm 42:1-2

I do not think we really GET this verse.
At least I often think "I" at least do not fully GET this verse.

~ Single Me

Sunday, June 23, 2013

New Job: Week One

Well, this last week has been really good. I am working at a hospital that is split between two places. Currently, I am training at the smaller campus and that is the place I am gong to be doing most of my ministry and work as Chaplain.

I think the first day on campus was the most difficult, just trying to take in so much information. Along with all the information is trying to understand spatially where I am at, as well as where everything is at on campus. By day three I pretty much had all the key places down.

I was excited that I got to see patients by day three. I was a little rusty but things were good. I have already had some more serious visits, which I really enjoy. I do the Morning Prayer and go to the morning meeting in intensive care on the mornings when I am scheduled to come in early.

I also went to a wonderful church this morning, thanks to a friend of a friend. I still have three more to go and visit, but I could really go back to the one I worshiped at today. The people were warm and inviting. In both Sunday school and the worship time someone came up, introduced themselves, and sat with me.

Well, that’s about it for this update I guess. I've been writing more lately to keep everyone updated, so the quality might be less than stellar. I think I do well with about a blog or two a month. When I do more than that, it just kind of seems blah to me.

Well, my first on-call happens tomorrow. So, hopefully it is calm night because I have to work the next day (just kind of the schedule here), but being a smaller hospital, calls aren’t really all that expected... so we will see.

~ Single Me

Friday, June 14, 2013

Adjusting to Buffalo

Well it finally happened. I finally cried this morning. I was fixing my bed frame last night and my back started to hurt. Sometimes that happens, but exercising has helped it to hurt a lot less lately. Well, I woke up at about 5:30 this morning, because well, that’s when the sun comes up here in the summer apparently. I started looking up automotive repair places online, cause well, my power steering fluid is leaking and I need a new pump. My back just kept hurting. Is it the new chair I bought? Maybe the new mattress set? I don’t know. I still need a haircut, to go by the DMV too. Then it all started to hit me.

I guess I made it longer before I cried here than any other move I have made so far. When I moved to college I had a roommate to talk to; however, when I moved to grad school, to my own apartment, and then to my residency... Well, I was living by myself. I can’t really explain how it feels to people who have never lived alone. Yes, it is great to have my own place... and I'm glad I don’t have roommates... but it is hard not having anyone I know here. I go through this every time I move. It isn’t just the adjusting to a new place, finding all the places you need to know and go to and get stuff done. For me it is the time it takes to find a new group of people around you.

As an introvert I do make friendships but it takes me time, so in a move it a while before I make friends and who knows if any will even be good or great or best friends. I have to keep reminding myself that not everything has to be done now. But its hard, I want to be comfortable. I want to have all my books in bookshelves and I want all my comfy furniture now. I don’t want to wait. I feel like I am in a state of Limbo. I guess I want to nest, which includes furniture, having stuff in order, finding friends, getting use to my job, and finding a church here.

I guess this morning it all kind caught up and hit me. On the other hand, it has taken me about a week before this hit me. Usually, it only takes me one or two nights, so I guess I am improving over time and all the moves I have had to do in the past. Actually, even typing this out is now making me feel better. Maybe today I will just get a haircut and go see Superman (if there are any tickets).

Maybe I will worry about my power steering pump and the DMV later. As far as my mattress is concerned, for now I’m putting my air mattress on top of my new one. I think I am going to have to go to a mattress store and get a thicker mattress. I think that will help since I am a little bigger and have back problems sometimes. I don’t think the cheap and thin mattress I got is going to cut it for me.

So, here is an update. People have been asking me and I've just been preoccupied with getting stuff done or trying to relax. Good thing is I have been eating better and exercising again. The bad thing is I can’t seem to do both of those in the same day, ha ha. I will get back to it again soon. I really want to lose the weight. Ok, so that is my update. Not as engaging a read as the last one but oh well, writing is like that sometimes.

~ Single Me