Meeting Leslie: Part 2 of 2

 

That is when I was completely confused and excited. The next two weeks I tried to plan a time and she would say she was going out of town unexpectedly or because of other previous commitments she was busy. The thing is, she’d keep saying “maybe next week” after with an exclamation mark. Then she told me she was leaving back to college the next week. I was sad we didn’t meet up, a bit confused, and this is when I felt I really wanted to come out and let her know I liked her (or saw potential there), so I wrote out this initial message:

I'm gonna lay all my cards on the table here and be honest…. it is probably good we didn't meet up one-on-one for a movie, even though I know we both want(ed) to. I'll admit, from the first time I asked you if you’d like to get together for coffee or a movie sometime, I was a bit discouraged to find out you had a boyfriend; however, you seemed (and still do seem) a special enough person that I want(ed) to pursue friendship with you.

I think it’s pretty obvious from our interactions and messages that we enjoy being around one another but I will admit I do feel there could be the potential for something more there. With our interactions and how we have danced between spending time together in a group or one-on-one make me think you might as well. Of course, you have a boyfriend and I really want to respect that fact, respect you, respect him, so hanging out one-on-one in person might not be the wisest thing to do right now.

At this point, you don’t have to let me know if you feel the same, cause either way it wouldn't really matter since you are seeing someone and we are friends. But if things should change in the future, you become single and are interested, I would like to ask you out and see if there is the potential for something more there.

That being said, I think it might be good to set some boundaries for the both of us. I'd like to still hang out in groups (your friends or mine), keep up a bit through Facebook, and maybe have a phone call every now and then. I'd be totally down with coming to meet-up with you and your friends depending on my schedule with my jobs. We can just keep one another informed on stuff and I'm sure we will be able to stay connected.

I hope our friendship can take my honesty here. I think it can even though it is relatively new, but I didn't want to wait until later and drop a bombshell on you with this out of nowhere either. I look forward to continuing to know you as a friend…  and as my sister in Christ. Hope your weekend and going back to campus next week goes well. I'll message you again in a while and we can catch up. Later!

I let it sit for days, as I pondered, prayed, and sought advice from some other godly men I know. I wanted to convey to her that I liked her, still wanted to be friends, and wanted to respect her relationship with her boyfriend. But then I was hit by the thought that if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t want her hanging out one-on-one with some other guy. That’s when I re-read the message and saw how incredibly selfish parts of it were. As I sought out the wisdom from my friends and prayer, I really felt it was best not to tell her how I felt, but to tell her I enjoyed her presence, getting to know her, and set some boundaries since she does have a boyfriend. Then I sent this message.

So.... I ended up seeing Guardians of the Galaxy with my friend and his wife. It was really good, so if you like Superhero movies, I'd go see it but I liked Spider-Man 2 and the new X-men movie better still.

I think it’s pretty obvious from our interactions we enjoy being around one another as friends which is great; however, I feel since you have a boyfriend hanging out one-on-one in person might not be the wisest thing to do right now. I just want to put that out there. I'd still like hang out in groups (your friends or mine), keep up a bit through Facebook, and maybe talk on the phone every so often. That being said, I'd be totally be down with coming to meet-up with you and your friends depending on my schedule with my jobs. I've been there twice this year and when I wasn't stuck in traffic it seemed like a nice place ;) We can just keep one another informed on stuff and I'm sure we will be able to stay connected.

I look forward to continuing to know you as a friend and sister in Christ as well. I hope your weekend at the fair and with your parents goes well... and going back to campus on Monday. Talk to ya later!

I do hope we can be friends, though I do think even in this message it might be slightly obvious I do like her, the point is to pursue our friendship but with some boundaries that respect her relationship with her boyfriend. Maybe it’s just me, but I couldn’t do it and don’t think I would like who I would become if I tried to break them up or gave her an ultimatum. So, I prayed to God and sent SEND on that message. I hope we can be friends. I’d like to get to know her more. If this is God's will for friendship only I pray God lets me know. If this is something more, I pray God would open doors and both of our eyes. I pray his guidance and blessings either way. But as always, the future remains uncertain and sometimes you find yourself along for the ride.

This is what it’s like being single…

~ Single Me